If you’ve ever closely read, or even scanned, the pages of a typical personals ad, you’d recognized the usual format – gender preference, age, something about the advertiser’s looks and interests. Specialty and ‘elite’ publications might have more information tailored toward the expected demographic – second home location, brand of Scotch, favorite theorist – that tells those in the know what kind of person is placing the ad. All of the advertisers, though, try to present themselves in the best possible light. Then you look at these selected ads from the London Review of Books personals column, and see how little light those other ads really shed.
In 1998, the LRB began the column with the ideal of emulating the successful New York Review of Books’ attempt to match literate and presumably solvent singles. They reckoned without the sense of British humor, and their readers’ apparent willingness to lay everything out for their hoped-for matches. Thus an ad that reads:
Gynotikolobomassophile (M, 43) seeks neanimorphic F to 60 to share euneirophrenia. Must enjoy pissing off librarians (and be able to provide the correct term for same).
Not exactly the kind of person most of us (especially the librarians) would consider, right? Editor David Rose, who wrote the introduction and the footnotes that translate cultural references, speculates that those advertisers might be using a kind of reverse psychology that attracts attention and may even make their ad worth a reply. Then again, maybe the writer is summoning up his or her courage and trying to be honest about their perceived shortcomings:
Like the ad above, but better-educated and well-read. Also larger bosoms. Man, 38, Watford.
If you can discipline yourself (I couldn’t), these are best taken in small doses to preserve their individual shock and/or humor value. Opening the book at random can produce those milk-out-of-your-nose moments, and also make you wonder about the hidden biographies of people you may see every day. But there’s always that ‘what if’ moment – what if the writer actually is in jail? What if she does have a contagious foot disease, or he might run off with your music collection? What if the ad is meant to be whimsical and humorous, and you take it seriously, or vice-versa? Most importantly, what if this is a person you might really connect with?
This is a fun little book with moments of surprising insight. And if anyone can tell me the correct term for pissing off librarians, I know someone else who’ll be impressed.
Leave a comment